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Marny "Nanny" Pantisano As told by Debbie McShane and edited by Shannon McShane Born on August 6, 1928, in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Marny was the second oldest of two sisters and one brother. She attended Little Flower Catholic School for girls, graduated from Temple University in Philly, was a shoe model for “Sample Shoes” to earn money for college. Marny was adventurous, she wanted to travel and see new, exciting things. Back then it was unheard of for women to attend college, let alone travel and be independent….but then, she was not the typical woman of the 40’s and 50’s. Her friends and sisters were all getting married. By now her older sister was already married and having children, 7 eventually in all. But Marny was the strong independent one of the family, while others thought school wasn’t necessary, she believed in education, religion and her family. Her sense of adventure finally landed her a position as an Assistant to the owner of a large hotel corporation in New York City. This corporation owned hotels in New York, Florida, New Hampshire and Arizona – and so she was off, traveling and seeing new things! Florida in the winter, New Hampshire in the summer, life was exciting…she was treading new territory for women. Her family moved to New Jersey while she was away working, her older sister kept having more children, and her younger sister got married…all the while, Marny kept working…and she would always send most of her money made home to help the family – times were tougher for them since they had moved to Jersey. With all her traveling she didn’t have time to ever meet anyone and form a real relationship. She would say she wasn’t ready for marriage and children…or that marriage and children weren’t ready for her! But inwardly, there was a part of her that wanted to be settled – have someone to love and take care of, and to love and take care of her, since she was the one who always had to be strong, the one who handled everything. |
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Her brother had just graduated high school, and had gotten engaged to his high school sweetheart, when he was killed in an automobile accident. Marny came home to once again to handle everything, and this time she stayed. Her mother needed her, as she could never get over losing her son, and then her mother’s health began to decline. It was during this time that she met this wild guy named Joe. Though intrigued by him, she didn’t give him the time of day…her mother certainly didn’t approve, but her father helped them to meet. Perhaps her father saw the void in her life. Born in Rome, New York, Joe was the second oldest to four sisters and one brother. At a young age he and his family moved to South Jersey, where he grew up on a farm picking tomatoes, peaches, and all other kinds of fruits vegetable. He grew to hate this...the farm, the daily chores, and especially the fruits and vegetables! His family, while keeping up with the daily farm duties, were also launching a concrete business. Looking for something more to life, Joe enlisted in the Army on Armistice Day 1942. He wanted more adventure than the chickens and goats on the farm could give...but being only 17 he needed his parent’s approval. With his mother’s signature he was off to basic training, in none other than Fort Dix, New Jersey!!! So much for all that adventure! But, it wasn’t long after basic training that he was sent overseas. Finally, he was off to see the world, no more picking tomatoes! Sparing you the more detailed war stories – he spent 30 months overseas in total combat and jumped off at Normandy. He went through several battles, got shot in the hand, and was a prisoner of war. He escaped with seven other prisoners, but still, none of that would stop him. He had been in France, Italy and then Germany, by then having lost many buddies, including his best friend Pauly, whom he carried through the fields back to camp. After losing Pauly and being in combat so long, he grew weary. And then it happened. It was in the wee hours of a cold February morning, when he heard his name being called, "Joe...Joe, we need help!" The Army had been sending a lot of replacements without all the proper training…they were just young kids basically. He reached some of the wounded, and was getting them to safety, when he stepped on a land mine. They called them "Bouncing Betty" landmines. It threw him up in the air, 20...30 feet, and when he landed his right leg was gone, his left leg barely there, his memory retention was diminished, and all hopes and dreams of life after the war were shattered. He was sent back to the States, spending the following 2 ˝ years in Walter Reed Hospital for rehabilitation. He received the Purple Heart, the Bronze Star, the Medal of the Jubilee of Liberty from France (for the invasion of Normandy), and the Silver Star. Along with all those medals came a wooden right leg, a brace on the left, crutches and a wheelchair. This was the 40’s, life was already difficult back then...and for Joe, it was filled with many more challenges and uncertainty. But, he was surely a survivor...and right around the corner, life was about to get better. It’s the 50’s now, Joe was around the age of 29. He liked the music of Frankie Laine and had a fascination with fast cars, and believe me – he had the tickets to prove it! With the brace and wooden leg, he was able to get around a good bit without the constancy of crutches or the wheelchair. One day, driving fast in South Jersey, he spotted this red-head walking to church, and he slowed down. He was flirtatious; she ignored him. Determined by this challenge of getting to know her, each morning after that he would watch her as she walked to the Catholic Church. And then by chance, at a gas station, he met her father (it was a small town), and they get to talking. Joe asked her father for his permission to pick her up and take her to church the next morning. Her father said "good luck," but helped Joe in his plight to meet her. They finally met, and because he couldn’t quite pronounce her unusual name, Marny, he started calling her "morning"! He started taking her to church every morning before she went to work. She was going to church everyday, he found out, to pray for her brother who had been killed recently in an automobile accident. He was only 18 years old. This was a new experience for Joe, going to church - especially so often, and wooing such and independent, fiery girl. Little did he know how much more life was about to change for him. Now approaching her mid-twenties, in a relatively new area she found herself wanting to settle down – but was wild Joe ready? That was the question. Things were quieting down with her family, and she began dating Joe and working locally, but something was missing. Maybe it was that adventurous spirit, traveling, independence, or maybe seeing her sisters settled with their families – maybe it was the loneliness inside her. Joe was handling his own family issues, his own insecurities…his own form of loneliness. But instead of each of them talking about it to one another, they let their isolation eat away at them. Marny decided to contact the hotel corporation she had worked for in hopes of returning to work. She acquired a position at a hotel in Palm Beach. She left her family and Joe since he wasn’t “marriage material” and resigned herself to a life of being single. Back then if you were in your twenties and not married you were considered an “old maid”. She would cringe at the thought, but what choice did she seem to have? Her independence was just too much for a man…or so she’d made herself believe. I think she was gone about a week, when Joe realized what he’d let go. He jumped in that fast 1950 Buick and drove straight through from Jersey to Florida. They got married right away at a friends’ house in Palm Beach and as they say “the rest is history.” Nine months and two weeks later they had my mom! (Debbie) They were married 48 years, when she passed away. It was tumultuous at times to say the least, but she tamed him….and he admired her adventurous spirit and protected her. She fought every battle for him thereafter, and he loved her for marrying him and seeing beyond his disabilities…and they beat the odds of all who said they wouldn’t make it! |
